I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
