Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
