Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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