walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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