I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
