it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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