I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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