Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
