I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
