im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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