Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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