nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it's like iHOP with fire
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
