Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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