bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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