she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
