Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
