Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm too high and old for this...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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