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• (209): View more from California

  Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.

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• (714): View more from California

  Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!

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