There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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