If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
