you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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