It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
