If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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