Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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