It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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