Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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