just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
