Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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