Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
