Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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