so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
