so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
