you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
