i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
