i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
two words...techno handjob
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
