Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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