i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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