What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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