Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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