You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
this hospital has no fireball
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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