Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
