Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
