I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
