I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
