first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
