We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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