when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
