I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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