now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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