that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
