If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
