I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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