i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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